Taking a Stand – Self-sabotage disguised
Taking a Stand
There comes a time when it is time to take a stand. Many of the decisions we make are easily done because of their relative importance, or when you’ve done it it’s done. Lifestyle changes made consciously are decisions of a different nature in that they are a series of small decided actions made repeatedly.
This is when taking a stand becomes important. Is this the time to tell everyone your decision? Derek Sivers says NO, this is the time to clam up and do it. This is the time to line up the resources to keep you on the path, which would include a few key people who are committed to seeing you succeed. These people don’t congratulate you for making the decision. They are the ones who are there when the going gets tough and you are showing signs of stress from the work you are doing.
I am too familiar with the process he speaks of in this short talk. Basically, what happens when we share our goals, without any qualifiers, is our brains are tricked into feeling the satisfaction of having accomplished the goal and this reduces the need to take the steps to actually do the thing. It is a challenge for me to keep my mouth shut; so my goal on this challenge is to….just do it;)
With my coach, and those close to me who won’t let me BS my way out of doing something, I share my goals, gather resources, line up support, and arrange my life to see it through. I then ask to be held accountable for what I said, in confidence, and what I intended on doing.
It is always a process. When I start feeling satisfaction without following a process I can usually look back to having gotten excited and told someone not in my support circle what I am doing.
Taking a stand is really an internal process that is manifested outside by deliberate planning and action. Listen to Mr. Sivers TED Talk as he explains why telling people your goals is counterproductive. Enjoy this 3 ½ minute talk.. https://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself
Peace,
Dave